RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
The world is like a mirage, and as Shankara has said, it does not come from the Absolute, nor does it go any place. It is a creation of God, it is just a dream, nothing more then that. Eventually, we are going to have to face the situation, to ask ourselves, is this a dream, and if so, how can I awaken from it? I trust that each of you will try to do that, and get rid of all this suffering and misery, and achieve your destiny, which is to realize that there is no separation between you and GOD.
I know I AM THAT.
Swami said that there are two paths for self realisation: the path of devotion and the path of wisdom. I have always considered myself an intellectual so when I first arrived to Puttaparthi, I found it really hard to adopt to the devotional part of spirituality. Indian culture was my another obstacle. First recognition of the Reality has happened when I attended Satsangs, and, immediately without any prior knowledge, my heart knew I was Home. That’s how I got on the path of the wisdom. Swami says on the path of wisdom, the objective is to find the absolute truth. This path to liberation is completely independent of the world, not depending on the world, totally and completely independent. Independent of Him. He says if you approach the goal of self-realisation, even, God, Himself, disappears. For, if there is no son, where the need for the mother..?
Something very profound has started to happen in my mind, as it was dropping into the heart and gradually there was a deeper understanding of my current life events and slow pace acceptance mixed with detachment, as if, I was watching myself from outside of my body. I have never heard any spiritual teachings before in my life and nevertheless I was understanding every word spoken…This understanding came from within and merged with the words received during the satsangs half way. Beautiful flower of Truth has sprouted in my heart..How can I explain any of this?… How can this be my reality…? Grace of the GURU.
Neti Neti Neti. Not this, Not this, not This. I am not the body, not the senses, not the feelings, not the associations, not the thoughts, whatever is happening to the body - I know I am not this. Detachment. Observation. Not the doer of the action, not the owner of the thoughts, the witness. Simplicity of the the discovery, that I thought myself to be, not only false but also the root to all the misery and misfortune that the mind projects onto itself and while identified with the sense of I AM, creates a negative reality. Being unaware of such facts leaves one to a fully programmed reaction to the external circumstances. The only spiritual practice that is needed is not to react and observe the mind with detachment.
The Grace of the Guru have awakened a kundalini energy at the base of my spine and, suddenly there was a splash of ecstasy in everything I was seeing and everyone. I could sit for hours not knowing anything and still be full of joy.. The blank gaps between the thoughts have prolonged for days. The happiness that I was experiencing came from the purity of being untouched by the mind. The mind has started to detach slowly from the I am the doer concept, naturally, and began seeing itself as Love, Joy, and the cause of all manifestation. Many blissful years I spent just being. Not knowing anything. Trusting. Nourishing the love that I AM.
Swami emphasises if you can not “still” the mind, then practice doing it. The power is always there, if you lack the will for such discipline, engaging in selfless service for the benefit of the others would do a great deal. I think in the modern times that we live in, thinking about others and helping them, can develop the feelings of love and devotion, improve one`s character and give one a fulfilment, appreciativeness and humility. My way of merging with the devotional path was the direct experience of Myself, as an unfathomable, eternal and formless Being. The grace of the guru was behind it.
In my physical life I was not cared mostly, I lost my mother in my twenties, few years after my mom’s passing, my farther was gone. So were my grandparents. In my early thirties I became a single girl without any physical support. My belief in true love was God`s gift, that helped me through the times when I had to face the world on my own. True support, love and the sense of belonging, I received from my master. I can’t imagine to live like myself without His motherly and fatherly combined safe protection. Swami made me wish for everyone to be happy and free. My heart rejoices in huge gratitude and cherishes an unbelievable help that has been given to my life. I walk free and kissed by the God in my heart.
